Service client · Open Tuesday to Thursday, 10:30–12:00
Le Bureau
des Plaintes
Complaining is our national sport. We take yours very seriously — possibly more seriously than you do.
Real talk: we read everything and answer within 48 hours (yes, really — even in August). Direct line: hello@thefuckingfrench.com
Frequently raised grievances
Where is my order?
On its way, in the French sense. Printed orders usually ship within 2–5 working days. If it hasn't arrived after 10, file a complaint — we will genuinely fix it.
Are the books really free?
Yes. The PDFs are free, forever. Printed and Kindle editions will be paid, because paper is not a human right (yet).
Can I return an item?
Yes, within 14 days, unworn and unwashed. Wearing it to a meeting and then returning it is very French, but no.
Do you do corporate orders or partnerships?
Yes — team packs, onboarding kits for expats, custom covers and brand partnerships. Write to us with “Partnership” in the subject.
Is this brand anti-French?
Non. It is written by the French, about the French, with love and a lot of butter. We laugh at ourselves first.